“To be or not to be—sounds pretty good?”
“I’ve heard it before.” “There’s just no way you could,”
Said trump to his mirror, “not heard it or read it,
‘cause, mirror, I’m really the first one to have said it.
I make these things up—I’m as smart as a whip—
And how about this one: Don’t give up the ship!
Or Remember the Alamo? That one was mine,
Or Four Score and Seven—tho’ Abe stole that line!
There’s Boys Will Be Boys and Best Friends Forever,
Then something is better than something than never—
I make up so many—like May and December
Or An Idle Brain—something—it’s hard to remember
But if you think they’re good—well, mirror, just wait—
I’m making one now and it’s going to be great,
It’s as good as that chicken one—that was mine, too:
Oh–Do Unto Others ‘Cause They’ll Do Unto You!
Don’t you think that’s swell, major, major, and super?”
But all that the Mirror, like Anderson Cooper,
Could do was resort to a rolling of eyes
While trump went on, “Healthy and Wealthy and Wise!
A yuge one and one of my number one hits
And they put it right up with that If the Shoe Fits—
Mine too, but what puts even that in the shade
Is, Life is All Lemons, So Let’s Drink Lemonade,
Or something like that—but it’s good, you can bet—
And then there’s that one that you’ll never forget
And if those ones all fly, well, then this baby soars!
I said, It Never Rains, But Somewhere It Pours!”
The proverbs kept flying. The Mirror went dim
As it tried to come up with a way to stop him
And finally, desperate, he gave out a cry:
“If You Ask Me No Question, I’ll Tell You No Lie!”
“Did I say that?” trump asked. “I don’t think I would.”
“You didn’t,” said Mirror, “But we all think you should!”