As usual, in the hour pre-dawn,
The light in d trump’s hair went on
And, while his staff was still in bed,
The voice spoke up in d trump’s head.
“Good morning, donny! How my boy?
Is spring with you? Do you enjoy
Much blossom on your cherry trees?
Or maybe blossom make you sneeze?
Good news for you—we thinking now
You got big problems—we know how
To solve and we already do it
Quicker than you say Scott Pruitt!
First, with FSB chief meanie,
We substitute for Spicer weanie—
If media people make a scene,
He shoot them all, live and on-screen.
For Kellyanne, we have new way
To silence critic: is death ray.
So, CNN will not behave?
Is hidden in their microwave!
That smirky guy—what name? Oh—ryan—
Who failed health care with clumsy lyin’?
We tell truth—polonium sent him where
He need asbestos–not health care!
Likewise, big loser, mikey flynn?
Who try to cut your room to spin?
He find an end—a little retro:
One push—oops!—under DC metro.
And Clouseau fellow—stupid nunes
Is deep beneath South Lawn petunias
While we spread really nasty rumor
That Hil have big affair with Schumer.
And last, not least, we have real facts
And photos that refute attacks
That crowd that watched on DC mall
Was less than millions— wait!—not all!
We have, as well—you through your roof
With this—bus tickets to show proof
That Clinton woman who you hate
Had voters moved from state to state
So that, when truth be known, those who
Had voted for her—only two!
And rest of country—this is true—
A hundred million—went for you!
But, have to talk to Petry, then
Have coffee with Marine le Pen,
Then secret meeting with Farage
In inner London bus garage
Before I see what I can do
To ruin NATO and EU—
Is big job when you have to rule
Whole world—oh, by way—April Fool!”