Deny Ability

The town was thick with mice and rats

(they having whipped the local cats),

But now that it was theirs, they sat

And wondered what to do, now that

Their word was law—and so a ruction

Arose—some all for mass destruction

(so total was their verminous hate

Of what they vaguely thought “the state”,

They’d put the thing to total slaughter,

Discarding baby and bath water),

But some were not so very rash

(or, prompted by dim dreams of cash),

And so they sat until the sun

Had almost set—and then someone

Appeared and shouted, “Look! It’s me!

I’m yuge and bigly! There can’t be

A better leader in a jam

Than me—‘cause that’s just who I am!”

He was surprising: squinty eyes,

Skin color like day-old French fries,

a puckered mouth just like a bung,

a tie which looked more like a tongue,

and, over all—who wouldn’t stare?–

there was a strange cow-pie of hair

whose color shifted—sometimes white

but sometimes blonde—but never quite

the color of a natural head—

more Grecian Formula, instead.

“And I have here the perfect thing

To lead with—it goes tootling

And you will dance and follow me

And we will win—as you will see!”

He then produced a kind of pipe

And gave a tweet, which, like a swipe,

Produced a change—another app,

And rats awoke, as from a nap,

And mice stood up, and stretched each limb

And, as he played, they rushed to him!

But, though it seemed just tunes he shrilled,

They heard such words that they were thrilled—

“You’re not forgotten, trust me, folks!

This little tune is one which cloaks

My message: wouldn’t it be nice

If we made rules that rats and mice

Would think for them and which would fix

This sagging city and would nix

The rights of cats—now this is clever!

And exile them from here forever?”

They loved the words, they loved the song,

And, following, they sang along

And, dancing, made their long tails quiver

As down he led them to the river

And then, all, with a single bound

Leaped in and, just like that, were drowned

In gangs and hordes and mobs and troops

And all the piper said was, “Ooops!

How horrible! Did I intend

To do them in? I was their friend!”

Then shrugged. “Dead are they? No—I’ll choose

To label all of this FAKE NEWS!

It never happened. It’s a lie!

I am a real trustworthy guy!

So let the media throw their rocks

At me so long as my friend, Fox,

And Breitbart, too, fend off attack

And Steve and K.A. have my back.

Besides, when all is said and done,

They were just rats—and I had fun.”

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