Pre-briefing

“The press is here,” reince priebus said.

“And I have one suggestion:

Work in those leaks whenever you

Are pestered with a question

 

To which the answer might demand

Some solid information

And do be sure to boast about

Your mobbed inauguration

 

As well as what a landslide—

As is very common knowledge–

You had when you romped home

With the entire electoral college

 

And don’t forget to shout about

The media and its lying and

How they get the facts all wrong

Because they’re really trying

 

To bring back Hillary, Obamacare

And common sense

When we’ve got you, America First,

And our VP droid, Mike Pence,

 

With plans to free the country

From its economic cares

By putting all its money

In the hands of billionaires,

 

And how the place is too PC

And how we’ll get more oil,

By sucking from beneath the ground

(although you’ll have to boil

 

Your drinking water from now on—

And don’t forget to hint

How easily that trick was learned

By all the poor in Flint)

 

And how you think folks should refuse

That curse, inoculation,

And how autism is well known

To come from vaccination

 

And how your health care plan is yuge

And guarantee it’s done

And will be on the market when

You finally think of one,

 

And how you’ll ship the aliens out,

Despite that legal veto

And how you’re going to squeeze the cash

From Senor Pena Nieto

 

And by this time, you’ve said enough

To fill an encyclopedia,

But don’t stop now—take one more shot

At slippery liberal media

 

And also praise the great Fox News,

Who are so very lenient

To you and always tell the truth

Whenever it’s convenient

 

But, if they ask about your ties

To Russia, don’t stop speaking—

Just say the issue isn’t Vlad,

It’s endless DC leaking

 

And how it blew apart Mike Flynn

In almost seconds flat,

But, when it comes sanctions, no—

You don’t know jack of that.”

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