4:31

“Press got me down. I’m in a slump,”

Thought ever-wakeful donald trump.

His iPhone said it was, “Four-thirty.

Think I’ll message Rod Duterte.

 

He’s halfway round the globe: I’ll guess

That he’s awake. It’s such a mess

That time should have a separate border—

For each new hour– I’ll make an order

 

To say from now on time will stand

And only move at my command—

Like that old king who ruled the tides,

I notice, and the Brits, besides.

 

‘So many times, Rod,’ he began,

‘I’d start to write, but then my plan

Was changed—I’d need to douse the fires

Set by those endless media liars—

 

That First Amendment? epic fail!

I hit the truth right on the nail—

The facts are clear—the entire nation

Was there at my inauguration—

 

Three hundred million, no buts or maybes,

(including, yuk! A lot of babies–

I’d gladly miss them–

Thank god there was no need to kiss them!)

 

And banning Muslims? Yuge success!

Or would be, if the lying press

Would quit with all those made-up stories

About the airports—I’ve got worries

 

Enough—there’s crime on every street

From Mexicans—and Arnold’s tweet

Deserves one back—I won’t be hasty,

But I’ll come up with one so nasty

 

I’ll be that bastard’s terminator.

But have to save that treat for later.

Meantime, I wanted just to say,

I hope you have a great, great day.

 

Have you got something in the hopper?

Drop bad guys screaming from your chopper?

Deny some group its civil rights?

Ignore the law, shoot out the lights

 

Of anyone who has the nerve

To say your duty is to serve

The law—and not that you’re the law?

I want that here—if you just saw

 

What I could do, without the spying

Media and their endless lying,

I’d be like Vlad and make things go

The way they should. My Russian bro

 

Has had a few killed, and so what?

We’re just as bad—what’s one black hat

Or two or ten or even twenty?

Our nation every day kills plenty

 

More than Vlad does– I should know,

‘Cause more than once he told me so.

But gotta run—some so-called judge

–you know the type—refused to budge

 

On banning Muslims—it’s his fault

If millions die. I tried to halt

The flood of terrorists—the bloody

Tide comes in! So, take care, buddy!

 

Unlike Obama—what a weeny!

(I’ll bet his hands are really teeny),

I say that you should keep on shootin’

And, soon, you’ll be another Putin.

 

With love from Don, your US friend,

who wishes he could make an end

of those who take the left position

the way Vlad did his opposition,

 

Not hampered by the Constitution,

But implement the same solution

And make each one pay for his crimes

Beginning with The New York Times.

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