Well, Senator

“I’m really not that stupid,

though I never crack a book.

It’s all in how I talk the talk

And how I look the look.

And when it comes to Texas,

It’s all my frosty nerve

And how I deal with oilmen

To get what I deserve.

 

Okay, I’m not an Einstein,

But I knew when to jump

And, being no snob,

I’d take any job

I’m offered by Donald Trump.

 

And so when trump suggested

That I do energy,

I said without a second thought,

‘Now that’s the job for me!’

I’d spent my years as governor

In using all my pull

In helping oil enrich itself

(I also drink Red Bull).

 

All right, I’m not an Einstein,

And failed when on the stump,

But knew at once

(‘cause I’m no dunce!)

that I should back d trump.

 

There was a little problem, though—

It just did not occur

That energy was much less oil

And much more nuclear.

I knew we had atomic bombs,

But little more could say

Than once I saw us try one out

In Independence Day.

 

Yep, indeed, I’m not an Einstein,

But also not a lump.

I’m a real quick study,

I’ll tell you, ol’ buddy,

On the job for Donald Trump.

 

So here I am, in Congress,

To show that I’m the one

Whose whole life is in energy

And that I’ll get things done.

I’m not so clear on what things are,

But I’ll have aides in troupes

Who’ll have my back and cover me

When sometimes I’ll say, ‘Oops!’

 

You’re right, I’m not an Einstein,

But helped build a nuculear dump.

I’m real good with gasses

And look! I’ve got glasses!

And, through them, I’ll help Donald Trump!

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