Out, Out

When done with speeches and grandstands

And motorcades and marching bands

D trump was standing at his sink

To scrub his hands till they were pink.

 

And then a voice beside his head

Spoke up, but, in a whisper, said:

“Just think: all day security

Was tight—as tight as it could be–

 

And yet that wouldn’t matter much

If, with one filthy human touch

A million, billion microbes spread

Within your body—and you’re dead!

 

Is there a lesson here for you

And for the whole republic, too,

That you can put upon a list

All Muslims, but one terrorist

 

Might slip right through the Secret Service–

How can you not be fucking nervous?

So what to do? A tricky question!

But I could make one small suggestion…

 

It doesn’t take a massive probe

For you, a lifelong germaphobe,

To see at once the way you think

About those germs can form a link

 

With people who don’t look like you—

Imagine they are microbes, too!

Not wretched, begging refugees,

But carriers of a dread disease.

 

Just watch as, swarming from the east,

Their guttural language more like beast

Than English tongue, they scuttle in

And take good jobs—then bring their kin

 

And everywhere the headscarves bloom

And giant mosques and there’s no room

For anybody, who, like you,

Believes that all Americans who

 

Are real Americans must be white

And Christian and demand the right

To rule—it goes without reflection

To see that Muslims bring infection!

 

As once Herr Hitler’s ideal German

Conceived the Jewish folk as vermin,

So now you know the same is true

For you–Muslims are vermin, too!

 

So, right away, a proclamation:

The US, always destination

For all of those who once opposed

Their tyrants, is now firmly closed

 

Put up yuge signs, write on the sky:

Muslims now need not apply!

But it would be a mortal sin

If we did not take Christians in

 

And also you must have some feelings

For those with trump-tied business dealings—

It’s obvious that your conclusion’s

To save our allies from exclusion!

 

So give us your poor, your huddled masses,

As long as they are business classes

And we’ll define those friends as ours

Who stare down from their trump-brand towers.”

 

“At last there’s one who understands

Why it’s so crucial to scrub hands,”

Trumps says, “And now I see it’s true

That we must scrub the US, too,

 

And use the law like a drug from Pfizer

As a kind of Muslim-sanitizer

No matter how the liberals howl.

Thanks, Steve—hand me that purple towel?”

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