“It’s just so SAD,” said d trump’s tweet,
“About the DNC.
They only have themselves to blame—
That’s plain, at least to me!
We live in such a troubled world
That it seems pretty clear:
If people leave the barn door wide,
The horse will disappear.
Who took the horse? I’ve no idea
And now it’s idle chatter:
It’s their fault that it happened,
So who did it doesn’t matter!
My guess is it’s some Chinese guys
Who best fit their attackers,
Or maybe it’s that website plague
Those fat-assed Jersey hackers.
In any case, I know for sure
That Vlad is in the clear.
He’s one smart guy and doesn’t care
What we do over here.
President, or almost, I
Know extra special stuff
And it tells me that he’s innocent
And that should be enough
For you—next week, I might say more
Or maybe two or three.
It’s just so secret I can’t say
Much more than “we will see”.
Or—maybe, folks, I should say more—
I shouldn’t, but you say
You love me ‘cause I speak my mind.
Such pressure. Cave? Okay!
I said I blamed the democrats
For loose security,
But I was being really nice
And now that I can see
That they think they can undermine
That I was the selection
Of voters in the fifty states,
That I rigged the election,
The gloves are off—I won’t be nice
Since I am being tarnished,
So here it is, folks, honestly,
And, frankly, it’s unvarnished.
The truth is that the democrats,
While blaming FSB,
Were really doing it themselves:
They hacked the DNC!
They knew that they were losing big
But couldn’t take the shame
Of saying that their candidate
Was why they lost the game,
So someone—who knows who it was?
(I do, but I can’t tell)
Suggested that they make a leak
And then it leaked like hell!
So when you see that they would like
A full investigation,
You know that they are bluffing
Since it means the revelation
That they themselves are guilty
And the truth, if someone delves
Into it very deeply,
Is that they have fucked themselves!”