D trump stood at the podium—
Excitement was intense—
Since all had paid big money
Just to schmooze with vp pence
And to be seen with donald trump,
Their hero, someone free
From every kind of prejudice
And ugly bigotry.
“I have a list of thank-you’s here,”
Said Trump, with list in fist.
“The first, those guys from Portugal–
Without, there wouldn’t exist
The Middle Passage which then brought
Crammed into every cranny
Ten million paid-for immigrants
From toddler up to granny.
And next, those kindly Dutch folks who
Then braved Atlantic waves
To bring Virginia settlers
Their first authentic slaves.
To follow up, then, all the South
two centuries and more
Who used those slaves’ descendants
Until the Civil War.
Next, then, are all those men in hoods
Who rode throughout the night
To keep themselves (ex-owners) safe—
They’re now called the Alt-right.
And, finally, though not here tonight—
Which one would have the cash?
Those who, by staying home, helped me
In my yuge, landslide smash
Of liberals and the media
Who write such lies of me
And, that big fibber of them all,
That lying Hillary.
So, now, in closing, as you know,
I hate to boast or brag,
But, as you see on southern poles
Once more that rebel flag,
It was my doing, but I say,
Give credit where it’s due.
I wouldn’t stand right here today
If it were not for you.”
Loud Applause. Dixie.