Ben Jammin’

“Those pointy things you see on-line?

Some stupid folk assume

That they were built to stand through time

As some old pharaoh’s tomb,


But who would take so many years

And pile so many stones

To make a building for the goal

Of guarding King Tut’s bones?


That’s overkill—who’d build a thing

Like that and think well spent

The money for a resting place?

(except the President—


He’s always planning big like that—

And nothing’s too outrageous—

Remember there’s a ziggurat

Named after him in Vegas!)


And so I think those things were meant

To save some food for later

And therefore what we’re seeing here’s

A big grain elevator.


It stands to reason—don’t you see?

It’s all the facts that fit:

The Bible says they stored up grain?

In pyramids—that’s it!


That’s not a theory—it’s the truth!

(I’m working out the kinks,

Like how they stored their gliders in

The belly of the Sphinx.)


So when you ask how for my job

I think I qualify,

I’ll open up my testament

And see how to apply


the words of Exodus to help

me in my work at HUD—

perhaps the poor could learn to build

new homes with bricks of mud?


With our new Congress, we could ask

To change the housing law:

Provide the mud, of course, but charge

Them double for the straw.”


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