It’s really five weeks now, he thought,
Since Tuesday, when we won.
I like the sound of ‘President’
And ruling will be fun.
d trump looked in the mirror, then,
to monitor his tint—
rich corn? Rich wheat? Or maybe just
a tiny little hint
of statesman grey—or not?—he smiled,
lips wide for signs of plaque,
then frowned because surprised to see
his face did not smile back.
“It’s gotten serious, Donny, and
You’ve got to face the facts.
The only cabinet that you know
Is full of drinks and snacks.
You’ve got these jobs you have to fill
With men of gravitas.
And better add a chick or two
To help protect your ass
From those who heard your comments
About past stardom joys
And didn’t then excuse you
With, ‘What can you do with boys?’ “
“So what?—“ “Shut up and listen:
I’ve got a plan for you.
Just think like me, your mirror,
And here’s what you should do.
For every new position
Select someone to fit
Whose view of things is clearly
The very opposite.”
“You mean—“ “for Labor, pick one
Hates Unions—doesn’t trust ‘em.
And when he’s told to keep ‘em safe,
His only job’s to bust ‘em.
For Education, get someone
Whose all-too strident voice
Is always pure pro-charter
But masquerades as ‘choice’.
Environment? Choose someone
Who thinks it really strange
That anyone, with half a brain,
Believes in climate change.”
“I get it—so Interior
would be someone fulfilling
Big Oil’s wish that fed park land
Be open now for drilling?”
“Good boy—you see just how it’s done,
I’ll visit now another
Client whom I’ve long advised—
I mean Snow White’s stepmother.”