The Easter Bunny shook awake the sleeping leprechaun.
“Hey, you there! Eyes wide open! I’ve just heard some great news, Sean!
To take advantage of it, though, means that we have to jump.
One half of the electorate believes in donald trump!”
At that, the little man sat up, “Begorra! Is that true?
For, if it is, that means that they will now believe in you
And that fact then leads logically—it’s a simple QED—
To make the strong assumption that they’ll now believe in me!”
At that, the fairy whose main job is changing cash for tooth,
Woke up as well—“Is this for real? ‘Cause, if it is the truth,
We have to text the North Pole and let Santa know ASAP,
That yuge new opportunities will soon fall in his lap.
For, after all, if they believe that trump can bring back jobs
Long lost to automation, and can credit how he fobs
Off promises for facts, then, boys, we’ll soon be out of here—
Let’s wake the spooks and vampires, too—although authentic fear
Should come from all the things he’s said while being a campaigner:
Environment and NATO—women, too—that’s one no-brainer!
But those are good for contrast—if the world is going to shit
Then everything we do is going to be a bigger hit.”
The jackalope then frowned: “Well, all of this is good for you—
And me, as well—but think what else is going to be true:
Medusa and the Cyclops with his big, unblinking look
As well as urban legends—ak! That guy who has the hook!
If voters can believe that Trump, the people’s billionaire
Can give big cash to charities, or even that that hair
Is anything but fantasy, they’ll really cook our goose—
The worst nightmares of humankind will soon be on the loose!
Now Frankenstein and werewolves and those witches with the bubble
In the cauldron may be good for supernatural kinds of trouble,
But think—now that he’s president, he has a major voice
In what is much more frightening: a new Supreme Court choice!”
There was silence for a moment. Then up spoke the doubting Fairy:
“Supreme Court? Who believes in that? It’s just imaginary!”
The others laughed. Said Sean, “Come now! Believe in that, good grief!
There are some things which even pookas think are past belief!
Besides,” he said, “If they believe that he will build a wall
That’s several thousand miles in length and god knows just how tall,
It’s our world now, indeed, and we should take it in our stride.
So, friends, let’s catch some unicorns and saddle up and ride!”