He’s Making a List

“Dear Santa,

This is Donny Trump.

I hope this year you’re not a grump

But act as every Santa should

Although…I’ve not been very good.

In fact…I’ve been my very worst

But, every time, they did it first!

I might have used a naughty word

When talking of a girl—some nerd

Recorded it! Now you can see

And hear it all on your tv.

It’s true I said a racist thing

And boasted of my endless bling

And also of my giant hands,

But everybody understands

That I was kidding, really, folks,

But Democrats just don’t get jokes

And never see that all I’ve done

Is clown around and have some fun,

And so I want to emphasize

That almost all is media lies—

They demonized me from the start

(Except for Fox, likewise Breitbart)

So please believe when I insist

I’m not so bad—and here’s my list:

First, send back factories from the East

And seven million jobs, at least,

A health care plan that seems to do

All that we’ll claim we tell it to,

A clever method to disguise

Our tax cuts for the wealthy guys,

Likewise a quick and deadly way

To rid us of the EPA

And all environmental laws—

That’s real important, Santa Claus!

A bullet train with miles of track

So we can ship those millions back

To Mexico—and don’t forget

A really subtle way to vet

Those Syrians—they’re such a mess!

Perhaps a test from ETS?

And there’s lots more of Xmas treats

I’d like to have—I’ll send you tweets—

But one more wish? I’ll keep it short!

A new scalia for the court?

A new wife, too? This one’s a frump!

Just joking!

Your friend, Donny Trump”


One thought on “He’s Making a List

  1. Pingback: Tribes Redux | From guestwriters

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