Basket Cases

November 8, the ladies woke, no longer undecided.

“We’ll pencil in the ‘trump’ dot in the space where it’s provided.

He looks so presidential and his wife is very pretty,

Though looks aren’t all that matters,” said the ladies of Sioux City.


“I love the way he speaks his mind—p.c. police can’t bust him!

The world is full of terrorists, he says, but we can trust him

To keep us safe from Syrians and the evil that they’d do.

And I don’t think that’s racist,” said the dames of Waterloo.


“A bigot? I don’t think so! That’s just Clinton being shrewish

‘cause after all, Ivanka went and married someone Jewish

And I hear that there’s a negro asked to join a state committee

To elect him—now that’s progress!” said the gals of Mason City.


“He’ll bring back jobs—he promised—from the places where they went

From that NAFTA thing her husband signed when he was president

And you know that she was for it, an enabler for Bill,

Especially with bimbos,” said the girls of Coralville.


“Besides, it’s common knowledge that, on every site you look

You can read that she is nothing but an unindicted crook

While he’s an honest businessman, who knows to use the law

To help him grow his business,” said the dames of Ottumwa.


“My daughter reads me everything he says in all his tweets

And how he’ll make it safe again to walk the city streets

But how those wicked Democrats who pay for Hillary

Will take away our guns,” said ladies of North Liberty.


“And then, of course, he points out—and it’s just as plain as day—

That she wants One World Government and hates the USA

but, if she is elected, maybe her term could be short

If someone from the NRA…” said the dames of Davenport.


“Then women can go back to being women, not poor men,

To polish that glass ceiling so it has its shine again,

And bake and cook and raise the kids, instead of playing games

In places where we don’t belong!” so said the gals of Ames.


“It’s time to put the coffee on and wake the kids for school,

Then drive out to the polling place to help restore the rule

Of decent Christian gentlemen who’ll make them toe the line

And clean our country up,” said all the girls of Muscatine.



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