Reality at last set in

And trump, as he admired his chin,

Talked to his mirror—he’d had fun

But now was time to get things done

And since the dems were in retreat

those plans–once vague–must be concrete

and concrete, as he knew full well

could cost lots more than you could tell.

“About that wall,” he cleared his throat.

“The one I promised? For your vote?”

(Although it was distinctly clear

There was no crowd, he heard them cheer.)

He looked around and deeply sighed.

“Well, it’s not as if I really lied,

I got, folks, sort of carried away

And, really, what I meant to say

Was that it won’t be quite so long

Or high and maybe I was wrong

About who pays the tab for it,

But all of that’s the kind of shit

For which I blame The New York Times

And Hillary, who, for her crimes,

Will face the stake just after dawn

At Easter, on the White House lawn.

But there will be a wall—I said

There would–and soon it’s going to spread

From Texas and then head due west,

Two thousand miles—are you impressed?

You should be! But, as I began

To tell you, here’s my secret plan

To pay down on the final score:

I’ll do what I have done before

When I’ve faced some financial cliff—

We’ll build it, then, folks, we will stiff

The contractors and tell them, “Go

Collect the debt from Mexico.”

(Hmm—that wouldn’t do—upon reflection:

He’d need them for his reelection.)

He stood and frowned his trade mark frown:

So what would bring the price tag down?

His image smiled—he loved that dimple!

“You’ve got it wrong—it’s really simple–

It’s time to start your very first war!

I hear that we did that once before.

When—not clear here—though I should know—

I think we got the Alamo

Or, maybe, when the war was won,

The land we got was Oregon.

In fact, now that I think of it,

A war with them could be a hit

With your fanbase—think of tv—

You in a tank! On NBC!

We’d get them in a sneak attack

And make them take their migrants back

And when we had their country, all

The arguments for that damned wall

Would disappear—and you could soon

Own all the beaches in Cancun.”

Trump stared at trump—“That’s what we’ll do!”

Oh, donald trump! How I love you!”

And, pushing all his strange hair back,

He gave himself a great big smack.


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