Reality at last set in
And trump, as he admired his chin,
Talked to his mirror—he’d had fun
But now was time to get things done
And since the dems were in retreat
those plans–once vague–must be concrete
and concrete, as he knew full well
could cost lots more than you could tell.
“About that wall,” he cleared his throat.
“The one I promised? For your vote?”
(Although it was distinctly clear
There was no crowd, he heard them cheer.)
He looked around and deeply sighed.
“Well, it’s not as if I really lied,
I got, folks, sort of carried away
And, really, what I meant to say
Was that it won’t be quite so long
Or high and maybe I was wrong
About who pays the tab for it,
But all of that’s the kind of shit
For which I blame The New York Times
And Hillary, who, for her crimes,
Will face the stake just after dawn
At Easter, on the White House lawn.
But there will be a wall—I said
There would–and soon it’s going to spread
From Texas and then head due west,
Two thousand miles—are you impressed?
You should be! But, as I began
To tell you, here’s my secret plan
To pay down on the final score:
I’ll do what I have done before
When I’ve faced some financial cliff—
We’ll build it, then, folks, we will stiff
The contractors and tell them, “Go
Collect the debt from Mexico.”
(Hmm—that wouldn’t do—upon reflection:
He’d need them for his reelection.)
He stood and frowned his trade mark frown:
So what would bring the price tag down?
His image smiled—he loved that dimple!
“You’ve got it wrong—it’s really simple–
It’s time to start your very first war!
I hear that we did that once before.
When—not clear here—though I should know—
I think we got the Alamo
Or, maybe, when the war was won,
The land we got was Oregon.
In fact, now that I think of it,
A war with them could be a hit
With your fanbase—think of tv—
You in a tank! On NBC!
We’d get them in a sneak attack
And make them take their migrants back
And when we had their country, all
The arguments for that damned wall
Would disappear—and you could soon
Own all the beaches in Cancun.”
Trump stared at trump—“That’s what we’ll do!”
Oh, donald trump! How I love you!”
And, pushing all his strange hair back,
He gave himself a great big smack.