“Whoa!” said the Lonely Voice, up with a start.
Something was missing! His mind’s shopping cart
Was empty!—and he jumped from his bed with a lurch.
“Quick! Time to set up a real painstaking search!
“Begin with the basics—not science for rockets,
This is—so just rifle through all of your pockets.
Keys, wallet, cellphone, and—nothing else, there, in brief—
Oh yes—one slightly-used, but still good, handkerchief.”
He began with pajamas—or, rather, he would
If freewheeling L.V. didn’t sleep in the nude,
So right to the back of an armchair he goes
To investigate last night’s small tangle of clothes.
“Shirt?” (Nothing would be left by this careful inspector!)
“Two mechanical pencils and one pocket protector.
Perhaps in my coat? I sometimes deposit
Some stuff in the pockets.” He rushed to the closet
And pulled out his coat, old sweaters with holes,
Six hats and ten scarves, with the patience of moles
He dug till he’d found things he’d bought, but forgot ‘em,
Until he hit mukluks way down at the bottom.
“No, not there,” he said—”and now it is itchin’
Me something is lost—so perhaps in the kitchen?”
He rushed there at once and from stovetop to sink
He pawed at the rubble, too rattled to think.
“Where else might it be? I cannot be static!
Quick! Into the basement! And up to the attic!”
For hours, then, he searched, prodded, scanned with great care,
But finally gave up and sat down in despair
On the sofa whose cushions were mines of loose change.
And the thought came to him: “Now, what really is strange,
is not only is something gone—no mental whiz
would doubt that—but I don’t know what that something is.”
His brain hurt, his fingers had turned into claws
From raking through stuff with no time for a pause,
But nagging, it put him in fits of wild hissing,
Then his eye caught the paper: he knew what was missing!
“Eureka!” he shouted. “It’s from that black news day—
What happened a week ago—that is, last Tuesday!
Remember one thing—jog your own recollection–
Stir memory as to who won in last week’s election
And, when you do so, you will certainly find,
That, last week, half the USA just lost its mind!”