“You think I’m making this stuff up?
Well, let me tell you, folks,
We’ve done the research on this one
And this is not a hoax!
I hear about it from all sides,
So here, I think’s, the deal:
It’s not an urban legend, folks—
The Killer Clown is real!
We have reports from everywhere.
There’s, frankly, method here
And we can now trace where it’s from
And where it will appear.
It all began in Washington,
The home of many clowns,
Then spread along the campaign trails
To big, important towns
Where it did town hall meetings
And it shook a lot of hands
And, in between, on long bus tours,
Had many one-night stands.
While passing out those free balloons,
It handled Wall Street calls
And swapped lies with The New York Times
In airport bathroom stalls.
So now if you see it to appear—
It’s coming, I assure you—
Watch out for that free candy
Which it offers just to lure you
To some convenient polling place—
They’re all there in her notes—
Where it will tell you anything
To try to get your votes
But, if it does, just grab its mask
And try to pull it free
And underneath I think you’ll find
The face of Hillary!”