Donald Trump looked into his mirror

While adjusting the knot of his tie

And suddenly stopped, with a look of surprise—

“Say, who is that good-looking guy?


That chin—it’s just so…commanding!

That jaw, so decisive and strong!

Those eyes—who would fail to obey them?

To whom must such features belong?”


He turned his head slowly in profile,

Then stopped with a riveted stare.

“The rest is just stunning, but, really,

Just look at that billowing hair!


I used to admire the lions

I saw when I went to the zoo.

I envied their poise and their menace,

But I envied those flowing manes, too.


But now, when I look in the mirror,

I see what once I had called

Regal was nothing to my hair—

In contrast to mine, they are bald!


So, putting the package together,

folks, don’t you think that I look great?

In fact, if I weren’t homophobic,

I’d ask myself out on a date!”


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