Once and Future

Xi Jinping sat high in the tower,

Awaiting the president’s plane.

“Gosh! This is boring! He said to himself.

“Dealing with them is a pain.


How can they not know that they’re history?

How can they not see that they’re done?”

And he turned to his staff with a small quiet smile.

“Time now for some face-losing fun!”


The president’s plane made a touchdown,

Jinping and his staff kept their chairs.

The president straightened his tie and looked out—

Then noticed there weren’t any stairs.


Jinping saw his face at a window

Looking puzzled—and gave a loud snort.

“Obama’s so powerful? What will he do?

Levitation’s his only resort!”


The crew, scrambling hard for solutions,

Then provided a desperate finale:

Like empty containers for snack food and drinks,

Obama came down through the galley.


Jinping saw it all from the tower

“See, boys, how it’s easy to pull

A practical joke on this has-been U.S.?

Let’s hope that he’s recyclable!


Obama’s their liberal black POTUS?

So what? What makes that such a plus?

He’s blocked every step by republican thugs

And, frankly, the man is a wus!


Just look how he threatened the Syrians—

Use chem weapons, Assad—that’s it!

But when they continued to drop barrel bombs,

He just sat there doing jack shit!


And he says there’s a pivot to Asia,

But you’ll see how little that means

When we keep on expanding our old Nine-Dash Line

Till it swallows the whole Philippines!


But we’re having such fun at the moment,

A new plan came into my head:

While he’s doing skype, saying ‘Night!’ to Michelle,

Let’s sneak in and short-sheet his bed!”


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