Catastrophe

I used to have a life,

With a barely bearable job,

But then one day

There came a ray

Of light to this indolent slob.

A friend sent a YouTube link:

A pixilated dancing kitten—

Just a whirl of fuzz

But all the buzz

And so, right then, I was smitten!

 

Cat videos! I’m addicted to cat videos!

Long-legged or stumpy,

Sweet-tempered or grumpy,

As long as they are mindless feline shows,

I’m just addicted to cat videos!

 

I watched it at my desk,

Driving home, I watched on my phone.

The stuff never ends,

So I shared it with friends,

And, at night, I watched it alone.

It took up the hours till sleep—

That is, if I did go to bed—

But that rarely occurred

Because I preferred

To stay up and watch it instead.

 

Cat videos! I’m dependent on cat videos!

When you’re in the mood

For one, no need for food

Or sleep—that’s true, as every addict knows—

You can live off cat videos!

 

But then there came a day

When my boss dropped me a line

Demanding that

I give up cat

(though Candy Crush was fine).

I had to make a choice:

Give up my main enjoyment—

No more on-line

Events feline,

Or sudden unemployment!

 

Cat videos! So you can guess what I chose!

Now I’m in pussycat heaven–

It’s kitten 24/7—

Don’t sleep or eat or ever change my clothes,

But my life’s complete with cat videos!

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