“You know it’s easy to offend

Some person when you don’t intend.

You judge a person by her face,

Insulting half the human race,

Or call someone (or lots) a dope

Or question if the present pope’s

As Christian as he claims to be

(though it’s clear you’re more devout than he)

Or shout to voters, if they’ll look,

They’ll see your opponent’s a major crook,

And, see—it’s not imagination–

She founded a terrorist organization

(an accomplishment, it’s evident

Shared with our current president)

And being so pro-immigrant suits

Her plans because it brings recruits

To join the waves of wetbacks who

Lug in the drugs—and steal jobs, too.

In fact, if the failing Times is consulted,

The only group you haven’t insulted

(if you trust the lying media’s skinny)

Is a tribe of three in Papua-New Guinea.

So, you’ve done all that and, really, more—

Have I done that, too? Hmm. Not too sure.

I guess I’d be sorry if that’s true

(though I’m never wrong in what I do)

and, to give morality its proper due,

I’d apologize now, if I were you.”


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