Friendship, Friendship

(translated from the Russian)


I’m not known for grinning,

Though perhaps a slight smile

Might appear on my face,

But blank stares are my style.

Yet even with sanctions

Which make our trade slump,

I could burst into song

When I think about Trump.


Trump, Trump,

Thank heaven for Trump!

He thinks he’s a genius,

But we know he’s a chump.

When he opens his mouth,

I just can’t be a grump!

He will give me the Baltic,

Sweet, simpleton Trump.


I really don’t care

If he’s there or insane,

So long as he says

I won’t touch the Ukraine,

But when he said that

I thought, “Mama mia!

Let’s hope he won’t hear

That we stole the Crimea!”


Trump, Trump,

Thank heaven for Trump!

I look at that hair—

What’s under that bump?

Whenever I hear him,

My heart gives a jump.

The Black Sea is ours

Thanks to dear, trusting Trump.


We hear him explain—

And it’s really a treat!

That he thinks most of NATO’s

A useless deadbeat

And that, if attacked,

He will do nothing drastic

Unless they pay up

And it’s prompt cash, not plastic.


Trump, Trump,

Thank heaven for Trump!

I can’t wait to hear

What he’ll say next on the stump!

He spills all the beans

And you don’t have to pump,

So you don’t need to hack him,

That motormouth Trump.


So here’s to my buddy–

I’ve come to his aid

By supplying a few texts

Which Hillary made.

It’s meddling, of course,

In the place where the vote is,

But as for the Donald,

Do you think he’ll notice?


Trump, Trump,

Thank heaven for Trump!

With my help he’ll soon

Make it over the hump.

What matter his mind

Is a toxic race dump?

I’ll menace all Europe,

Thanks to clueless friend, Trump.


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