Advance Notice

The election is rigged! What else it could be

If anyone’s voting for her and not me?

I’m handsome—my gaze is remarkably steady—

In fact, I should be in the White House already!

I’m witty—that godawful woman just bleats—

And incisive—take a look at my masses of tweets.

I own miles of boardwalk and loads of resorts

(and my knees are quite stunning when I show them in shorts).

My suits are all handmade and so is my hair

And I fill up my lungs with my own brand of air.

I’m perfection: you can see why I’d think it so odd

To vote for that woman instead of a god.

With so much of me, who else would you choose?

The election is rigged, or else how could I lose?

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