The election is rigged! What else it could be
If anyone’s voting for her and not me?
I’m handsome—my gaze is remarkably steady—
In fact, I should be in the White House already!
I’m witty—that godawful woman just bleats—
And incisive—take a look at my masses of tweets.
I own miles of boardwalk and loads of resorts
(and my knees are quite stunning when I show them in shorts).
My suits are all handmade and so is my hair
And I fill up my lungs with my own brand of air.
I’m perfection: you can see why I’d think it so odd
To vote for that woman instead of a god.
With so much of me, who else would you choose?
The election is rigged, or else how could I lose?