Berned Out?

The U.S. is in trouble—that word falls with a thump!

It’s full of crime and Mexicans, if you believe D. Trump.

The poor (when he remembers them) are poorer now today

And NATO’s full of deadbeats who will never pay their way.

He says that he can fix things, and can do it pretty fast.

To do so, he will lead us to our 19th-century past,

Where robber barons ruled and unions were the worst of blights

And blacks and women never dared to ask for equal rights.


He’s America’s savage grandpa,

Consumed with righteous rage.

He speaks the truth in black and white,

Like someone a third his age.

If you’re in legal trouble,

You’d quickly hire an attorney,

But when it comes to America’s woes,

We should have hired Bernie!


Now, figures show (Trump’s read them all) that every terrorist

Who can, slips by the DHS as if it didn’t exist.

They’re infiltrating everywhere, they’re worse than old-time reds.

They’re lurking in our closets, they crouch beneath our beds.

They’ve cells in all the fifty states—in every town, a den.

There’s even evidence that some may be among our congressmen!

The only cure is clear, Trump thinks (and of course his idea is great):

Deport each person who’s come here since 1948.


But America’s savage grandpa

Said all of that was lies—

“Just look at where it comes from

And that’s no big surprise!

It’s education, poverty,

The dying middle class—

That’s what we should be looking at.

Trump’s talking through his ass!”


But Bernie lost to Hillary (the DNC knows why),

So now we have to stand by her (or at least we have to try).

And then, when she’s in office, we can hope her words are true

And she keeps all her promises (as politicians do).

But, just in case the things she said were just there for the plank

And all her words to Bernie’s folks were somewhat less than frank,

We’ve plans to migrate to the north, to get the things we want,

Put up a Trump-style wall and be the Kingdom of Vermont.


We’ll crown our savage grandpa,

And make him Bern the First,

And welcome refugees who share

our deep progressive thirst.

To celebrate our newborn state

And, we hope, a liberal dawn,

The motto on our flag will be:

“Republicans, off our lawn!”


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