Corrido de Pelo Grande

Don Don came west to the land of the Cleves.

The heat was enough to give you the heaves.

He knew that his speech was linked to his fate,

So he planned his address for his sharers in hate.


“Law and order, yes, law and order!

Bus all of those brown people south of the border.

Then, so they know on which side they belong,

Build them a wall a thousand miles long.”


His wife spoke the first to all the convention,

But much of her speech was not her invention.

Although she avoided her husband’s racism,

Instead, she provided some pure plagiarism.


“Law and order, yes, it’s law and order!

Ship all the brown people south of the border.

Who cares if, in crossing the desert, they die?

Let’s build them a wall five hundred feet high!


Next came his daughter, who said that her dad

Was real and funny, but all that she had

To prove it was two weeks spent every year

With him—and that’s not enough, it is clear!


“Law and order, oh yes, law and order!

Run all of those brown people south of the border!

If you believe this, then give me your vote

And we’ll turn the Rio Grande to a piranha-filled moat!”

Last, Pelo Grande spoke, and gave us his views,

but nothing he said was worth calling the news.

Although he never said brown folk were vermin,

His speech bore the memory of something in German.


“Law and order, yes, indeed, law and order!

Kick out the brown folk and seal off the border!

I’m not a bigot—I just state the facts—

And crime comes from foreign brown folk—and from blacks.”


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