With Liberty and Justice…

If you are a hater,

It really seems a crime,

Wasting all your loathing on

One person at a time.

It seems much more efficient—

Unless you are a dunce—

To lump a bunch together

And hate them all at once.


For instance:

Muslims—I hate them!

Muslims make me mad!

Turbans, headscarves, minarets—

No wonder it’s called Islama-bad!

Each one’s a potential terrorist—

Believe me this is true!

And if you don’t, just wait until

Muhammad comes for you!


It really doesn’t matter

Who they are—they’re all the same.

They’re welfare cheats and terrorists

No matter what their name.

They eat raw fish and refried beans,

Not spuds and steaks like us.

So bus them back to where they’re from

And make them buy the bus!


For instance:

Mexicans! We hate them!

They’ll ruin the promised land!

So on your donkey, Pedro,

And make tracks for the Rio Grande!

They’ve all escaped from prison—

Just one look and you can tell:

Equipped with phony green cards

And paid by a drug cartel!


So, come on now and join me—

Spew hate whenever you want!

It’s not that you’re a bigot—

It’s just you’re being blunt.

It’s time to vent those secret fears.

It’s refreshing, as you’ll find.

Most voters will admire you

If you just speak your mind.


So we say:

Foreigners! We hate them!

They’ll make America fall.

Doesn’t matter who they are—

We’ll gladly loathe them all!

We don’t sweat morality

Or whether laws are bent:

Imagine an America

With me as president!


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