Infinite Deniability

I may be a bigtime billionaire,

But I’m an ordinary guy

And certainly I am smart enough

To know when I hear a lie.

There are people who will tell you

And swear that it is true

That the ozone layer’s full of holes

And the seas are rising, too.

 

But let me tell you, folks,

Global warming is a hoax!

It’s just normal there’s tsunamis everywhere

And there’s a scientific answer

For the increase in skin cancer:

It’s that humans (except for me)

Are losing hair.

 

I blame it all on the EPA

And big government, whose reliance

Is on the universities

And their production of junk science.

The sun still shines, the seasons change,

For all that I can see,

So all the rest’s tree-hugger stuff

And not for you and me.

 

And let me tell you, folks,

Global warming is a hoax,

A lie which all smart people should resent.

I’ll abolish regulation

And veto legislation

When you vote for me as your next president.

 

So what if the North Pole goes and melts?

That should worry a polar bear

Who’d be better off in a city zoo

(Besides– there’s oil up there).

Enjoy that sun– it’s instant tan—

And better yet– it’s free!

Go surfing those tsunamis and

Remember: vote for me!

 

And let me tell you, folks,

Global warming is a hoax,

Undeserving of its red flag and top billing.

So what if seas are rising?

That’s a chance for merchandising:

Invest in lifeboats and you’ll make yourself a killing!

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