Trumped Up

What big hair you’ve got!

Everyone’s saying

And, “It’s natural,” I say with a grin.

“It’s long and it’s fine

And it clings like a vine

And it nearly comes down to my chin,

My chin,

And it sticks with me through thick and thin.”

 

Hey, dad, can you loan me a million?

I really don’t need it for long.

I just found a great

Deal on some real estate

That I can buy now for a song.

 

What big hands you’ve got!

Everyone’s saying.

“Yes. Don’t I?” I said.

“Classic design!

And what’s great for you:

There are not one, but two

And best of all things, they are mine,

Are mine,

And, nighttime, they give off a shine.”

 

Hey, dad, can you loan me five million?

Las Vegas is calling—hot deal!

Hotel—not casino—

You can see it from Reno—

Solid gold and most of it’s real!

 

What a big mouth you’ve got!

Everyone’s saying.

Well, I need it. And you need it, too!

All others are lying,

But I’m only trying

To tell you the right thing to do

For you—

And, believe me, I’m counting on you!

 

Hey, dad, can you loan me ten million?

Gotta rush—this deal is in motion!

To lose it is shitty:

It’s Atlantic City

And maybe they’ll throw in the ocean!

 

 

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